Absolute age no.2

（先の続き）

私は、年齢なんて気にしないと決めていた……子供の頃から。

だって、いつも、同じ年齢の人たちが出来ることがあれもこれも出来なくて、

多くの点で「劣っていた」から。

教師に「優秀な生徒」とあからさまに比較され、

「どうしようもない生徒」とまで言われた私でも、

他人より時間をかけて、諦めずに努力を続けたらいつかは必ず目標を達成できるし、「優秀な人たち」に少しづつでも近づけると信じてきたから。

もし、そういう生き方を貫くことすら出来ず、

さらに、他者に否定され嘲笑されるというのなら、私は死んだほうがマシだとずっと思ってきたんだ‼️

（The continuation of the last update)

I had decided not to care about my age just because.......

I had usually been 'inferior' to anything compared with many people in same age from my childhood. I had often been compared with the superior explicitly and even branded as 'the inferior , who cannot be educated' by educators.

Therefore I decided , 

I would never care about my age basically , just because I would attain someday, I could get to be 'the superior' as THEY are 

if I would keep my best for a longer time than others.

if I would keep doing my best,

 or I would rather die if I could not live so and people would deride me.  

If I would never give up and keep my best,

 I would be sure to step forward , even though little by little, whatever I was 'the inferior, who cannot be educated ' ‼️